Confession Time....

I'm fessing up.  I admit it....I am totally nerve-wrackingly, panicked over the c-section--well, part of it anyways.

I hate (HATE) needles!  It has been sheer torture just getting my finger pricked once a month for this pregnancy...weird (but reasonable) policy at this new OB office I'm with now.

So, I did rather well at getting my epidural with Alyssa.  It may have been the fact that I was in enough pain that I could hardly breathe though.  How in this freaking world am I going to be able to curl into a ball to get a spinal without the pain motivating me??!  There will be NO distraction from this one this time!  I almost am hoping to go into labor on the drive to the hospital just for the contractions to distract me from a spinal....I am such a wuss, people!

I'm not really scared of the surgery itself.  I expect my doctor and hospital staff to take good care of me before, during, and after that, so really it comes down to mundane things like having a needle inserted into my back without a sufficient pain motivator.  Or things like recovering at home with a toddler running wild.  The only thing keeping me from being scared of the drive home (seatbelt and incision site are essentially the same spot I've noticed) is the fact that I'll be all drugged up still!

So yeah, there y'all have it.  Nerves.  I'll be fine and it'll all go well.  So long as I can handle that Spinal process....Now I'm off to pretend I'm not freaking out so I can have some of my birthday cake today!  *hums birthday song*