Thankfulness 2013: Day Twenty

All kids have it, mine just excel at driving me nuts with it.  Regardless, I am thankful for their curiosity and determination.  If they hold on to that natural instinct to understand things and figure them out down to the bare nuts and bolts, it can take a child so very far in life.  It is a combination that is crucial in any aspect of their lives and any path they choose to follow.  I hope that I do not stifle it even when I get irritated and end up at the end of my rope with the endless questions and messes.  From a toddler who opened the ziplock snack bags around the early side of 1 year old, to a 10 month old who topples garbage cans and climbs into cubbies much too small, this will always be a blessing in a very convincing disguise.

Thankfulness 2013: Day Eighteen

Honestly, I hate feeding kids.  It is entertaining for maybe a week worth of meals when they are learning to eat solids.  After that it is a messy and oftentimes inconveniently timed event.  Please don't think that I don't appreciate the ease of baby food and it is a fun kind of frustration usually.  Still, I am so much more excited by the finger food stage!  You're probably familiar with it.  That stage between baby food mess and their own spoons...

Mr. Wyatt isn't impressed with cheerios though.  No idea what he would've eaten before all these 'choke proof' foods out there, especially because he is really good at choking on them still.  Regardless, the better he is getting at these finger foods, the more thankful I am for these flavorful options of finger foods for babies.

Mr. Wyatt's favorite are those crunchies types.

Thankfulness 2013: Day Thirteen and Fourteen

Alyssa is getting pretty sneaky.  She can make two phone calls without my phone being unlocked.  She has learned to navigate to the ICE list on the emergency dialer in the lock screen. So while I contemplate how to teach her to utilize things like that in an emergency for real, I am thankful that we have the technology we do.  Beyond the complications that it can create for child proofing and safety, it is such an amazing set of resources.  We can look up thousands of questions that our toddlers demand answers to.  We can have endless entertainment options available at our fingertips.  The most amazing thing to me though is along with the transfer of knowledge, we can transfer virtual lives.  Our family and friends who may otherwise not get more than the Christmas card in a year, can keep up with our family including photos, daily rants, chats, and whatever else they may want to know depending on the tech form used.  Phones provide a few ways to talk to people quickly.  The Internet allows for video calls or photo swapping, and of course blogs share our stories easily.  Such a wonderful tool!

Related to tech in the general sense, my e-reader!  I absolutely LOVE my e-reader!  I am so thankful for e-readers (physical and app forms)!  Reading relaxes me and gives me a mental break from daily stresses like trying to leave the house with a toddler and an an infant.  I would be so much closer to full blown crazy if it weren't for my e-readers.

Thankfulness 2013: Day Four

I am so incredibly excited to have a 'waterbaby' now.  Mr. Wyatt loves his baths and playing with water!  His sister (soon to be a four year old) still cries getting her hair washed and won't actually go into the water at a lake.  She is so confident that it surprises me when she shows her fear of water getting anywhere close to her head.

Happy clean baby!

I can't wait to see where her confidence takes her, but I'm thrilled and thankful for the different personalities in my kids.  Wyatt will be my pool and lake buddy, while Alyssa is my little movie goer and game playing partner right now.  I am looking forward to seeing what other talents and interests our kids develop and we can share with them.

Halloween 2013

Momma and Alyssa

This year was a bit too cool out for Mr. Wyatt to join us during Trick-or-Treating.  We skipped the costume for him since he was going to be home playing with Great Grandma and Great Grandpa who came down to visit us and man our own ToT bucket.

Auntie and Alyssa wearing witches hats!

Alyssa however, was ready to get out that door with her Auntie and Momma and Papa.  She used her light-up wand (a Harry Potter wand from Barnes and Noble because I was sick of the umpteen breakable cheapies turning me into a frog or rabbit daily and splurged as the only required costume piece for her).

Unicorn Rider and Witch (who happens to be wearing a unicorn!)

We were just ready to get out the door and the big surprise showed up...FRIENDS!!!!  Now we had a Unicorn-riding costumed buddy to go trick-or-treating with so the night got infinitely better!  The adventures ranged from potty training requirement #1: Momma sacrificing pride and asking to use a stranger's bathroom (I did remove my mask before requesting entry to her house), all the way to a three-year-old totally 'burning' her father when he runs into something and she offers up her lighted wand "so you can see where you going"!

It was a great night and we were so happy to have our trick-or-treating buddies with us to make our night great

Proof of Teeth!

I finally got a picture where he was willing to smile even with the phone or camera in front of his face.  Usually he just goes blank face or wide mouth but not smiling when he sees technology within grabbing (and chewing) distance!

Adorable, right?

Baby Battles!

August 14th--  Happily nom-ing away on toys, he switches ever so subtly to Momma's finger, which produces a small shriek of pain from the victim.  Such a noise is vastly amusing and requires a couple gurgles of glee before attempting a repeat performance!  Momma bravely allows a finger into his mouth again in a discovery attempt.  The boy has a sharp object poking from the center of some swollen gums.  FINALLY!  The wave of relief rolling off of Momma was immediate.  We had confirmed our hopeful explanation of the near constant IBS (Irritable Baby Syndrome) and the few really nasty butts in the past couple days.

We had been treating him to numerous cold chewies and some well placed fever meds here and there previously but hadn't felt the tooth before that.  Sadly, the battle was not over.

Wyatt, already not to be outdone by a sister who has a full set of teeth to tauntingly utilize at every meal, decided to go for a twofer with his 'toofers'.  He has two sharp little front (bottom) teeth partially revealed.  The little tyrant gums won't let them go easily though.  They are still a frequent cause of turmoil for the little man who chews on EVERYTHING.  He is also convinced that after all this work, he is ready for any and every type of food that we consume.  I'd be willing to expand his menu....if he didn't still choke on the Gerber puffs.  Silly boy.

I still can't get a picture that displays any of the white lines that are eventually going to be two cute little daggers...er, teeth.  Mr. Wyatt believes that if no item is going to make its way into his mouth, then his tongue needs to act as bait for any other moment of his waking hours.

The Epic of Monday...

Some days are just too fantastic to be believed...those of us with toddlers can believe just about anything though.  Which is probably why this epic will resonate with your own experiences.

We haven't been able to take the gate down at night for our toddler.  She is too independent and headstrong to come into my room and get me in the morning.  It used to be that she would just go get into anything that she normally is not supposed to so we had to put the gate back up.  In our new house there is a flight of stairs that leads to a basement family room.  She isn't used to stairs from the old house.  I was a nervous Momma, glad to keep the gate up a little longer.  Now that she tries to potty train some mornings, I can't have the gate up if she is going to be independent like she wants to be with her potty training experience.  So......

8:15AM

*calling from a distance*  "Momma!!  Me went out in the RAIN!!"

Momma jumps from her bed and runs to the living room to see Alyssa taking off rain boots and coat in the dining room looking extremely proud of her adventure and being able to let herself back in without help.

"Me no get any wet, Momma."  Grinning and pleased at how well behaved she was to get all her gear on and play out in the wet morning with her chalk on the backyard steps.

She doesn't even remember that she is NOT allowed to go outside without someone.  She probably has forgotten that just last night she was asked to not color on the steps and to keep it to the sidewalk at the bottom of the steps instead.  She hasn't even realized that it isn't raining but just wet from the rain overnight.  She is so proud of herself and I'm horrified at what could have happened.  Wyatt slept in, she didn't wake me....she went out back instead of the front, thankfully!  She was able to get back in without help, thankfully!  She put on rain gear so that her sockless feet wouldn't get too chilled....

I tell her sternly in the split second that I've had to register all of what could have happened that she DOES NOT GO OUTSIDE WITHOUT ME!  I watched her proud stance melt a little.  She looked a little confused about why I wasn't so excited about her doing such a great job with remembering her rain gear and coming in dry and 'all myself'.  The next moment is where I realize that stern time is over. She knows.  She forgets.  She is three and did some really smart things while she was being forgetful.

"I'm glad you didn't get wet, Alyssa.  Can you pick up your boots and coat?  Next time you want to go outside you have to remember to come get me first.  I'm glad you were able to open the door all by yourself to come back in!"

I don't have any idea how long she was out there.  It scares me...there will be some new toddler-proofing today though I'm not sure what yet.

----A few minutes later, I'm mixing a bottle for the little guy who is just waking up to the voices.----


**WARNING: Potty Stories are rarely pleasant...and not for the weak stomachs.**



"Me have to go POTTY!"
"Okay, go in there."
*sounds of diaper being taken off and climbing onto the toilet*
*sounds of running out of the bathroom*
"Me already pooped!"

......ALYSSA!  Ughhhh, ew.

Has it sunk in yet?  Diaper came off but she already pooped?  Yup.  My bathroom has already met with toddler grossness and thankfully survived the event.  So, after cleaning up the tub side, the floor where it landed, and the toilet where she dragged her little gross butt across...

8:28AM

Monday has officially begun.

Six Months Ago

At this time back in January I had just turned 26 and had my first major surgery.  Honestly, being scared of the idea of surgery and the prospect of having it on my birthday was unnerving but my little guy was willing to go along with the plan and wait until the day after.  So today, because Wyatt is laid back and ready to go with the flow, he is 6 months old rather than 6 months and a day.

Weekend zoo fun.

He sits pretty well if he isn't tired.  He holds his own bottle when he doesn't want to be lazy (which if given the option he'll happily hand over the job).  He loves to eat his foods but gets impatient with the process still.  He doesn't mind baths or swimming overall unlike his sister.  Other than being late for a bottle, he is very calm and happy.  He keeps us on schedule even when we don't want to be...but rarely lets us use the car to knock him out long enough to get home.

He is a sweet baby boy who snuggles and wants nothing more than to hold my hair and marvel at the textures of everything he can grab.  If it can get in his mouth it seems even more magical!  He can scoot along but hasn't figured out the crawling pattern enough to get really cruising.  Toy pick-up is more crucial now because of that scoot being faster than you remember.  Playpens are NOT as fun as chasing down his sister's toys that are always just within scoot distance and the "frogger" is only acceptable for short bursts of time until he realizes that his sister is free to leave the room at a moment's notice.

Mister Wyatt has been nothing if not a relaxed baby.  He sleeps, eats, and well, yeah.  Just like every other baby out there except that he babbles rather than cries.  Smiles are abundant.  Snuggles are always welcome.  Giggles are contagious.  Chewing is mandatory.  And playing with his feet is one of his greatest joys.

There is nothing more satisfying than watching my two babies growing up together.  Seeing Alyssa get excited when he scoots across a blanket or babbles 'mama' (which is not a word yet even if the toddler is certain of it).

I'm having so much fun seeing him grow and learn!  I can hardly wait to see how far he goes over just the next six months.  I love my babies!

First Foods! (Pictures and Video)

TaDa! Mmmm?

Waiting for the first bite...

The first food...I love it!  It is always fun to see how they react to new experiences and as expected, the impatience to be fed wins out for the very first bowl.  When he masters the whole gumming part we will up the consistency and pick out the first fun food!  YAY!  (Wow the doctor recommendations sure have changed in only 3 years...go ahead and talk to your pediatrician if you're close to this stage because we apparently could have skipped rice altogether now!)  Anyways...a small glimpse at meal time around here now:

I know....he was pretty boring in the video but c'mon, that rice stuff has NO flavor.  We can't expect anything exciting when he doesn't get to eat something exciting!

Loving the spoon thing

Four Months

My dear little Mister,

You are beginning to laugh.  You beg for your sister's attention whenever you can see her (or hear her).  You smile and flirt like it's your job and wow are you good at it.  You have everyone wrapped around your finger simply using the charm that is inherent to you.

Keep that happiness that causes you to smile nearly every waking moment.  It will bless your life more than anything else can.

You have been playing with your toes for a couple weeks.  Don't think this isn't a big detail.  You're learning!  You're discovering that you are so much more than you realize even if it is just that you have toes.  Soon you'll learn that you can roll over past your side.  You'll learn that your smile can make others happy rather than just get you attention.  You'll discover talents big and small.  You'll amaze yourself with some things and amaze your Momma with everything.

You babble, you grin, you roll to your side.  You chew on toys, you stare at EVERYTHING.  You want to know what each thing is and what it does--then you want to nom on it.  You may not be coordinated enough to do many things, but your mind is working it out and soon you'll accomplish exactly what you wish to do.

You are my baby.  You're a great sleeper, a good eater, and a snuggler.  You make our family happy.

You tire my arms (I guessed 23lbs when you were just shy of 17lbs--c'mon, Momma's been carting you around for four months now!) but I love to hug you too much to put you down.

Your timing is impeccable because you always know just when to be hungry (right as I start cooking for your sister or eat something myself), but you're so eager to grab your own bottle right now that I am clinging to your feedings because soon you won't want me to hold you or need me to help you with those bottles.

You are a thumb-sucker.  Try as I might (and I am STUBBORNLY TRYING), you prefer your thumb to a nuk.  My stance is still that I will be able to take a nuk away much more legally and painlessly than a thumb.  I'll get you to nom on your pacifier somehow....

You're growing and I love and regret it.  I get to watch you learn and discover and enjoy life.  I also get to watch you leave stages behind where I wish to prolong them just a bit more.

I have dreams for you.  They change daily.  I want for you to follow YOUR dreams though.  I want you to discover YOUR talents and passions.  I want you to find YOUR happiness.  I'll always have dreams for your sister and you but I'll always desire your happiness first.

So grow up as you will, Wyatt.  Be happy.  Indulge in life as a child.  Keep charming those you meet.  Keep flirting.  Keep on learning, never stop.

Your Momma will always be rooting for you.

Product Review: My First Look and Find's

We have so much fun with these books that I needed to share them with you.

Did you ever enjoy the I Spy books or games?  So many kids love to hunt for things and when they find them they are THRILLED and so proud.  If your young child loves treasure hunts or spying things that you ask them to find, try these books out:

First Look and Find books are the I Spy concept for toddlers.  There are many options out there for characters from Pixar to Disney to PBS and more.  Here is our collection (though there are some we have on our radar for a good book buying day still):

Our most recent addition was the Pony version.  It is easily the favorite which is predictable when it is also the favorite TV show currently.

We highly recommend these books for your toddlers.  They can be enjoyed together or for some quiet time.  The covers are done in a semi squishy material over the hardcover to soften it up just a bit which is nice considering I dig at least two out of the toddler bed each morning.  I love that they all have different searches for each page in the back in addition to the pictures that they are supposed to match on each page.  If I'm not available to read those extras, Alyssa sticks to matching the pictures on each page.  Later we go back and do all the extras together!

Toddler Photobombing

End of Toddler patience (aka Book Repo)

**Edit** This is a completely unsponsored review.  We purchased every one of those books because we love them.  We got them at Barnes & Noble (they usually have more in stock than online oddly but they are all tagged as 'Bargain Books').

Fingers...they do tricks.

As you can see, we have hit a new milestone.  He is now grabbing and manipulating items that are given to him!  He is almost 3 months now so it was only a matter of time but I was thrilled to catch it on camera.  BTW--have you seen these stuffed animals?  They are "Breathables" that I spotted at Target.  I thought it looked strange with that meshy fabric (almsot looks like those sports shorts/jersey material) so I picked one up and read about it.  Then I tested it.  You can BREATHE through the fabric as easily as, well, breathing.  It is easier by far than breathing through a painters/dust mask and those give you a little room still.  It is meant to be safe for infants to play with ("crib safe").  They keep disappearing through clearances so have your eyes open and check them out...pretty neat things I thought.

In other finger related news....in an attempt at keeping this Nuk-less girl from destroying her fingers by chewing them off, we coated them in vinegar.  (I thought this might be a little more child-safe than the bleach that my mother tried with me and my nail chewing habit.)

Hands drying.

First taste...

This was the initial reaction.

In case you're wondering, it didn't work one iota.  In under a half hour she was sucking on her fingers again.  I don't know if it wore off--I wasn't about to try them to find out--or if she just thought they tasted like pickles.  In retrospect, as pickles are a favorite food group (did you know that cheese and pickles are part of the food group called Indispensable?), it probably was doomed to fail.  My husband thinks hot sauce is next on the list to try...Do you have any other suggestions that won't fry her tastebuds?

One of Those Moments...

We love to snuggle them.  We love their tiny noises, fingers, toes, lips, nose.  We love the big smiles on the small faces.  We love the tiny clothes...well, until we have to launder them.  Our babies are our tiny obsessions.

We adore our little men and ladies...and then the day comes.  That day sneaks up on all of us eventually.  That day hit me smack in the face two days ago.  My little man....my TWO MONTH little man....he just upgraded to the 6 month clothing.  Seriously!  Just break my Momma heart.  I was so excited to put him in the onesie that I had, but about 3 minutes of playtime on the diaper changer after getting dressed and I was not so thrilled by the idea anymore.  I realized that my big headed baby had just hit a new milestone and had no clue how exciting and saddening it makes his Momma.

Isn't he cute though??  I'm totally loving the onesie.  As a Disney freak, I couldn't pass this one up in the Disney Movie Rewards site.  Their rewards aren't always the same so this may or may not be there when you go looking for it (because I know everyone will want one!).  So enjoy the cuteness while I go snuggle my little, but always growing, "MisterMister".

Our Little Man (1 and 2 months)

So I know I've been totally slacking on the pictures of the (not so) little Mister-Mister.  To make up for it, here are both one and two month snapshots of him so you can see how awesome he is doing!

Wyatt @ 1 Month

Wyatt @ 2 months old

Wyatt @ 2 Months 4 Days

We had his 2 month checkup and he is growing like a weed, per the norm that his sister set.  He is 90% for both height (24") and weight (14lbs 4.5oz).  He is (again the norm) at 99.99% for head circumference (43.4cm).  There is a reason they cut him out rather than risking the damage that his sister caused with her big head last time....but dang those big headed kids are CUTE!  Okay, I might be a teeny bit biased but strangers seem to agree with me anyways.  So enjoy the pics and go hug your babies even if they are driving you nuts as toddlers now too!

Bathroom Exploration

Some days you just have to go play with all the stuff in the bathroom...well, at least my toddler convinced me of that recently.

Our make-up day

Our lovely selves all made up in as natural of colors as I have that the three year old would accept.  She knew full well that chapstick was NOT pretty colors.  There went that trick.  <3

About to jinx it...

Can you believe it?  Well, actually I can.  Alyssa was doing it at 2 months.  My little brother started on day two of his life (don't you wanna slap my mother in a fit of jealousy?).  My sister and I both were under or near the 2 month mark also.  Wyatt is just over 6 weeks old.

Wyatt has slept through the night (STTN) the last THREE NIGHTS!  Yes, I am completely and totally bragging right now and I'm certain to get my butt handed right back to me tonight for it....but for now...

I'm doing a happy dance with my shorter day-time-napping son.  Next step, moving morning from 5am to 7am.

Before you ask, there is no trick; this kid likes to sleep and eat and we let him do both when he wants.  I don't believe you can train sleeping (other than times painfully, slowly shifted but not condensed) at 6 weeks old.  JMHO.  Hopefully this will continue and I'll regain a modicum of my energy (and mental acuity) in order to bring this blog back up to date.

Three Years Old and Always a Handful...

Our daughter has been working very hard to drive both Papa and Momma into the loony bin lately.  Mostly she is just being Three(!) but the big issue happens to be her behavior with the animals.  Nala, the poor little 9lbs dog that we have, is tormented nearly every waking moment that Alyssa can possibly spare in between bites of lunch and asking 209809845 versions of "why" a day.  The cats barely leave the unfinished portion of the basement that is gated off (Sanctuary! Sanctuary!) when she is awake.  Overall, Alyssa seems to have lost all of her listening skills when she is dealing with growling or hissing animals.  Rather, she simply laughs, or shriek-giggles, in their faces and nearly gets bit.

Truly, she will learn one of these days that the nicer she is, the sooner the pets will actually come to her instead of running away.

So enter a new and fun issue...MESSES!

Monday--open a weight attached to a balloon, which happened to be sand, on the living room carpet.
Tuesday--Dawn poured out all over kitchen and dining room floors.

--soap in eye while washing it off hands....*sigh, Momma needs to make sure to put toddler's hair in ponytail before letting her wash her hands while cleaning up messes*
--Removes own dirty diaper and THEN yells for me....Thanks kid.

What will Wednesday bring me??  Hopefully a nap!  I mean, I vacuumed on Monday and mopped on Tuesday...I should be good for the week, right? HA!

A Typical Day....

Things are starting to settle into a predictable pattern finally.

Wyatt wakes up 2-3 times each night for bottles--what I consider 'night' for the kids though is Alyssa's bedtime until her 'green light' to get up rather than times I'm asleep though.

Alyssa gets up and rouses a tired Momma by yelling "Green Light, Momma!!  It's GREEN LIGHT!"  We get breakfast going and it must be eaten before going downstairs to play with the kitties who are still being acclimated to the new house and therefore are restricted to the downstairs temporarily.

Nala (the dog) gets tormented dozens-tens of dozens of times daily by a toddler who enjoys bullying the poor little dog.  I'm waiting not-so-patiently for her to nip Alyssa's hand/arm to make her realize that pulling tails or grabbing fur on the back/sides is NOT a good idea.  (Yes, I have tried all sorts of methods to get her to stop these actions and I am at a loss other than she is in need of the hard way of learning apparently for this one...*sigh*)  Thankfully our poor, tormented dog is a little 1/2 chihuahua mix and has endured so much abuse from this girl without actually biting (lots of growling though) that I'm fairly confident that if she does get nipped it'll be a warning shot much like the two dog bites I've received from my large dog when I was growing up.  Oh, did I forget to mention that she inherited her love of egging animals on from my toddler self?  Yeah....sadly I had the hard lesson as well but it was a quick learn!

Papa gets up early and goes to work and is home in the late afternoon most days.  This relieves a lot of my stress because this begins the downhill spiral towards bedtime that many parents of toddlers are well aware of.

Supper is hit or miss on how well the toddler behaves.

After supper is a crazy blur of anything from snuggles with a movie, downstairs playtime (tea anyone?), or meltdown modes over animal torture punishments.  Any combination of those can be found around here on any given day of course.  Thank goodness I've got at least a few months before I have to start scolding Wyatt for chasing the poor dog!

Any recommendations on a good toddler/doggy relationship therapist?

Green Light! Time to Wake Up!

In an effort to help our toddler figure out when it is okay to be awake (without using such subjective things like it being dark outside) I went on a hunt for the elusive toddler alarm clock that I had seen somewhere in the last year.  Turns out I could find it both on Target's website (probably where I saw it randomly over the last year) and on Amazon.  I'm sure it is available elsewhere so check your favorite stores!

We set it up while getting super excited to teach Alyssa that she doesn't get to "wake up" just because she is awake...especially at 5am.  My request was for a 'green light' at 9am but that seemed a little too late to make her lay around waiting so we went with a 7:30am compromise.  So, at 7:30 the body of the clock goes from a dim yellow nightlight mode glow to a "Green Light!! Momma, it's GREEN LIGHT!"

Now, fair warning, there is another clock out there that has a naptime feature (meaning it will do the 'green light' for naps also) and I *thought* that this one had it as well.  They are easy to differentiate as one has a flower or alien face plate and this one looks like a clock.  Clearly I was comparing the two much too often and mixed them up because the Teach Me Time Clock by American Innovative does NOT have a nap feature.  This turned out to be perfectly okay for us but while setting it up I was bummed.  Truly though, the dual display feature of both analog and digital clocks is AWESOME and totally makes it up to me.  It has features that teach your child time by reading the clock to them if they hit one of the feet--don't worry, this talking feature can be turned off in the 'hidden' back panel meant just for parents ('hidden' because Alyssa opened that on day one).

We have had this clock for a few weeks now and she has done remarkably well with it.  There have been two instances where she would call for me before 'green light' and not lay back down or quietly read after being reminded of the clock.  Of course she hasn't stopped calling for me in the morning if she is up before the light changes but the 'green light' reminder is usually enough to get Momma a few more minutes of peace before the announcement is shouted from her door, "Green Light!  MOMMA!  GREEN LIGHT, Momma!!"

Yes, I do laugh nearly every morning when she is practically bouncing with excitement because her clock shows her when she can get up.  It is a fun way to wake up with a toddler.  We don't have the alarm clock feature set, we have the talking feature turned off, and we set it to dual display mode so she can read both clocks as her TV shows teach her how to tell time way before I thought we could even try!  (Yes, one day Papa was in her room at 7pm and she told him he couldn't come out until "8 o'clock".  "Papa, it not 8 o'clock.  It 7 o'clock!"  He asked her how she knew it was 7 and she showed him the big hand being (very) close to the top of the clock and the little hand at the 7...Can we say stunned??  I'd bank on Umizoomi for that one...so sometime in the next year we will probably turn on the talking feature so she can learn a little more time telling with her own clock.  For now we just work on the full hours for fun.

**This post was not written at any request beyond my own love of a product that we purchased of our own choices.  I love this clock and recommend it for any parent who wants a visual option for their kids to know when it is okay to get up.**