Thankfulness 2013: Day Eleven and Twelve

Though the military irritates me more often than it doesn't, I am still very thankful for the opportunities and family it has provided us.  The military background helped my husband find his great civilian job.  I don't love the way it is run but I absolutely love the men and women in service.

On those days where the incessant whining, cries, demands, and questions all pile upon my near-to-bleeding ears, I remember my great appreciation for today's luxuries.  I won't lie, I am very thankful for 24/7 kid television programming!!  Disney Junior, Sprout, The Hub, etc.  There isn't a minute that I can't find something appropriate for my toddler to gain five minutes of distraction if needed.  Pair that with DVD's, educational tablet apps, crayons, chalk, books, toys, puzzles, and food, one would think that this would all add up to a full and busy day without draining a parent.  It is never the case, but it certainly maintains parental sanity until bedtime...most nights anyways!

Honestly, any distraction of little to no risk to the health of my kids is appreciated.  I'm always looking for suggestions too!  *hint hint*

With this ring...

Nearly six years, one deployment, and a nearly non-stop honeydo list for my DIY-er.  This is what my husband's ring has lasted through.

That is a Tungsten ring.  Those ones that they bang around and scratch with metal files to show how tough they are.  I have no idea when this happened precisely, but my husband is at annual training for the Army Guard....so yeah.  TaDa!

I guess we will be looking at new bands when he gets home and figuring out where in the budget timeline that goes.  Still, I'm rather impressed with that damage (and so was the jeweler when I asked if it could be repaired at all--Tungsten isn't repairable).

...and then there were three.

It's that time of year again for this guard family.  Annual Training!  I am going two and a half weeks with a teething baby and a toddler milking the last half of age three for all it is worth in tantrums and stubbornness!  No backup.  My "battle buddy" is off keeping his skills honed for any future deployments.  So....

Day One:  Last coin lost at 5pm. I "ruined her birthday!" I was pretty sure I had a few months to plan that event but apparently I simply forgot what day of the year she was born AND forgot to plan a party.  Crap.  I look forward to the teen years when the storming to the room is accompanied by at least a half hour of sulking.  For now I get a 2 minute shouting from the door and then returning to sulking in my presence paired with the random fit over the same thing.

Baby #2...We Aren't Ready!!

Here we go!  We are in the last couple days before the new guy finally gets here and my physical body is the only thing actually ready for it.

The house is still in general chaos (what can I really expect having moved in roughly a week before Baby Boy joins us?).  The crib isn't even assembled!!  We don't have a crib mattress yet!  Most of the baby stuff is in storage four hours away.  The clothes that I have for him--admittedly sparse still--are still in the apartment along with the car seat (thankfully that isn't four hours away!).  We just bought the first bottles for him Wednesday night (less than a week before he gets here remember and one of the first things you need for a bottle feeding baby!)...Can we say UNPREPARED, people??

While I am mostly concerning myself with the baby prep and the related house things that will make my life easier coming home from a c-section which I'm sure I'm working up into a much more horrific recovery than I need to-hopefully...My husband is dealing with the rest of our lives.  He is basically a rock and even rocks can show cracks now and then.  Between work (he is the first and only IT guy at his company and they are hitting major renovations pretty much RIGHT NOW), school (he is going for his BA, or maybe it'd be a BS in computer stuffs..yeah, I suck at technology), moving a family, and welcoming a baby and a recovering wuss of a wife home...well, let's just say that he deserves some kind of reward!  Like something massive IMO...I figure I'm not "pushing" this time so maybe he needs the "Push Present" that I heard tales of last time.

So just to clarify...I am literally days (DAYS) away from delivery.  We are still in moving process.  My hubby is AMAZING.  Oh, and he has drill just under an hour out of town this weekend...don't we have such wonderful timing?  At least we made it past Christmas...wish us luck!  Please?

30 Days of Thankfulness: Day Twenty-two

Today is Thanksgiving in the U.S. and across the nation families are gathering around shared meals, football games, or other traditions that they cherish.  We are doing the same and are also prepping for the shopping madness that is Black Friday (now starting on Thanksgiving night).

But as we all settle into our various family activities I'd like to remember with y'all that not everyone is able to 'come home' for the holidays.  There are those who don't have traditional homes to go back to (hurricane victims, homeless, orphans, etc).  There are those who are out there protecting the rest of us as we celebrate (cops, firefighters, ER staff, soldiers, and more).  Can we take at least a minute to be thankful to all those who try to make these holidays special for all of these people?  I am thankful for the volunteers, the coworkers, the adopt-a-soldier families and classrooms, and anyone else who takes the time to do something to recognize these people during the holidays.

I don't have any Thanksgiving pictures from any of the deployments but the Christmas and New Years ones give you a pretty good idea of what our group did to keep the happy times going.  I also happen to not have pictures of those volunteers who sent packages full of holiday goodies to soldiers, or of soup kitchen workers, but I'm sure y'all can find someone you know who has been that heart of kindness previously.

Social Media Disrespect

I really didn't want to go there...I REALLY did not think I'd feel the need to go there.  Fine, I'm going there!

I am absolutely horrified by the reactions I have seen not only directed at the winner of the presidential race but almost more so at the insults being hurled at voters from across the aisles.  I have never thought I'd be disappointed in knowing some of my friends and family in this way.  I would never have imagined that people I have known and loved and respected would use sweeping generalizations to insult my and others intelligence or morals based on a single (albeit crucial) vote.

Besides those offending social media posts (which thankfully I had no one in my sphere personally inciting violence or wishing death on voters)  I have seen mentions of moving countries.  I'd never be so disappointed in a single race result that it would make me give up on the REST OF MY VOTES.  We have the three branches of government to give us that balance to protect our interests.  BTW--moving to Canada to avoid the 'socialist USA' is probably not the most logical choice...consider a different option for your happiness.

Lastly--I am not in the military.  The President of the United States is my husband's highest boss in this country, not truly mine.  I may not have voted for Romney but I was prepared to respect him as the President and Commander in Chief.  This is what I feel the spirit of an American should do, EMBRACE the President.  You can't change the election results now.  We need to work TOGETHER to get anything done and it has been a very long time since that has been a common goal on most things in government.  I am shocked at the disrespect I saw last night and today directed at the Commander in Chief by military members specifically.  Not only is that generally frowned upon but some of the comments could easily lead to backlash as behavior unbecoming of a military member.

All of this ranting aside, I recognize the freedom of speech and I respect the obvious fact that their opinions and beliefs were on the 'losing' side last night and that would clearly be disappointing to anyone.  I would not wish for my friends and family to simply "shut up and sit down" as I've seen a few people respond with or any of the other disrespectful responses from this side of the aisle!  I would wish them to be more respectful of others though.  I would wish them to realize that their words, though able to be deleted from the Facebook walls, cannot be unread and CAN be hurtful or impact a relationship offline.

Please, I ask you on ALL SIDES to CALM DOWN and BE RESPECTFUL.  Everyone has their beliefs which led to their vote.  Everyone is entitled to this.  No one is stupid, immoral, or a moron for those reasons.  No one should be shot, deported, blown up, or even simply unfriended on Facebook based simply on how they voted  (though constant mockery and bullying remarks are grounds for social media blocking in my opinion)!

Thank you for allowing me to rant here and bearing with me.  Now let's get our Congress to work together and get some things actually accomplished this term that will be good for our nation as a whole please?  Kumbaya anyone?

Party Planning 101-301

I have begun the planning (okay finished the planning) of the Homecoming party!  Of course, I'm a planner so it was a rough sketch plan for the last 3 or so months already and the concept was done before he left.  Either way the only thing left to do is wait for the ability to release the date to the family and friends!  *sigh*  It is wonderful having even a small clue of how close this is to being done.  We miss having our Papa in the house with us to rough house, cuddle, tease and read bedtime stories...I miss watching movies with him and the simple fact that he is the main cook in our family (well, of edible non-box food anyways).

I had grand plans all mapped out on Pinterest of ideas and then realized, it is more than enough to just have him home.  I definitely make more effort on the send off party but I also have extra hands during the prep.  His homecoming is spaced to give him a breather before the masses descend upon us so he will likely have seen many people before the party itself making all the cutesy things a little less important and thus can be saved for a backyard bash later this summer I suppose.

By-the-way, if you need any parties planned, I probably have it done already on some of my Pinterest boards so let me know and I'll sort through them for ya  (baby showers, weddings, bridal showers, kids' birthdays, holidays, etc.).

If you haven't had the reason for a RedWhiteBlue party yet (such as military deployments often are), consider stocking up on items after the 4th of July merch goes clearance.  It will save you a ton of money to get these things then and save them for future use.  Many of the picnic items are great because they can be used all summer and at these events whenever they may fall.  Serious people, parties are expensive so think of ways to theme and clearance well in advance!  Valentines Day clearance:  pinks and reds make great girl accessories to parties.  Halloween:  find the fall type instead of the spooky stuff and you've got a jump start on Thanksgiving cornucopias.  Christmas:  Red and Green--valentines day and st patty's day aren't too far off!  New Years:  Gold, Silver and Black--these are great neutrals that work with graduations or truly just about any party theme you want.

We are ready to party around here!  I hope y'all have many parties to throw or attend this year and that they all go off without a hitch.  Wish us luck that our timeline for this particular party doesn't change...curse of the planner attached to the military lifestyle!  Eeep!

Looking Forward

So, in a military family, there are things that we just can't share with others.  For safety of not only our soldier but for other families' loved ones.  So dates, places, movements, etc. are just not allowed to be shared.  It's called OPSEC (operation security).  This doesn't mean that we don't follow the rumors at near rabid pace and gobble up the if's, and's, or's, and but's....

Army rumors are truly very unreliable and you learn rather quickly that you don't make plans based on them.  Don't get your hopes up too high or the fall is just that much further.  Don't start planning that Welcome Home party for the week after you 'heard' because it likely will change.

Change is inevitable and we learn to (frustratingly) roll with it.  However, not all the change in plans are bad!  Sometimes, SOMEtimes we get our soldiers back ahead of schedule.  SOMEtimes we get a deployment postponed.  SOMEtimes a training is cancelled and they stay home.  SOMEtimes we get one more night or two or twenty.  Those changes are not a change I will ever complain about because those are precious changes.  They make the changes that we brace ourselves for just a tiny bit easier to handle.

Since dating my hubby through the record holding NG deployment of 22 months (that was a few changes in the wrong direction if you didn't guess), we have had trainings that changed, drills that changed, deployments change, and dates we never count on as hard-and-fast.  So when I get rumors headed my way about changes that I'd like, well....I've learned to brace for the worst and prepare for the best.  That said, 3 different rough-rumor dates have reached me via various rumor wheels and none of them are my hard-and-fast idea.  I have one hard-and-fast and that is based on official orders (and those can change in a matter of minutes too).  Hmmmm, maybe I should just throw out the 'hard-and-fast' phrase for the foreseeable future...

I look forward to throwing a Welcome Home party.  I look forward to so many different things for our family.  The thing that I look forward to the most though is that first embrace.  Having that first hug off the plane/bus/whatever for our daughter and me is what I yearn for and I suspect will always be my favorite thing of a homecoming.  Every day is bringing us closer to that moment and I get giddy each time I think about it.  Time has flown by this deployment (though only when looking back on it).  I'm grateful for that, but I'm ready to have my husband home!  So let's go!  Let's throw a big Welcome Home party and have all our troops home and safe soon for those first hugs...

"Next year..." and the Holidays

Yes, yes...almost a month and half between posts....The slippery slope of blogging distractions has started.  The one thing that a holiday season acts as for most people is a busy schedule!  Our holidays are no exception to the hustle-bustle of family, travel, food, crafts, shopping, decorating, gift wrapping, gift re-wrapping, so on and so forth.  Y'all know the routine I'm sure.

Things this year are a little different for us of course.  The deployment makes everything in our lives a little less typical.  This doesn't mean that our 'big events' are put on hold or that they aren't plenty of special like the would normally be.  It just means it takes a little more planning and a lot of luck to come out the way we want them.  Today is one such event for us.

We had our home Christmas celebration today.  Every year we have multiple Christmases to attend so we planted our feet and dug in and have our small family time on Christmas Eve morning.  This year instead of the three of us tearing into gifts together in pj's and then eating whatever Papa decides to make for breakfast, Alyssa and I hunkered down in front of the computer this morning and hit "Video Call" on Skype.  Alyssa watched with a smile as Papa appeared on the computer and was ready to show him all sorts of things (c'mon, she isn't quite two yet...she hasn't figured out that we could commence the ripping open of gifts right then).  So while they chatted a bit I set up the video camera on a shelf aiming at the bottom of the tree and then hit record.  Alyssa was handed a gift and to town she went!  Papa watched her open all her gifts under the tree and then she opened a couple for him too.  She did try to give them to him so he could open them but unfortunately Skype doesn't quite work that way yet so we sat on Momma's lap to open Papa's stuff.  (This is where that 'planning' should've come in.  I should have had his gifts wrapped and mailed over so that he could open them on the other end of Skype today.  I'll remember that better for the next deployment I swear!)  Of course his gifts will be mailed out to him ASAP next week and there are a couple things that he didn't get to see today for his holiday surprises.

It was wonderful to share the holiday together even if it was in a way that takes a little more effort.  Alyssa loved to have Papa 'here' and to show him not only her gifts but his as well.  She holds things up when asked and thrusts it as close to the web cam as possible (typically resulting in a black screen due to lack of light).  I read a blog today that a friend had posted a link to.  It is another blog for military families and it's theme was the phrase "Next year..."  A better phrase for us I have not thought of.  I have avoided using the phrase up until this point in this post and it was HARD!  It is almost like an anthem for many families who are temporarily apart.  "Next year..." we will get to go through the holiday craziness together.  "Next year..." we will get to curl up for classic holiday movies at night.  "Next year..." we will get to remember that this year was wonderful even with a deployment overlaying it. <3

Happy Holidays to all of you.

A Military Family

Some days are amazing.  Some days make you realize that your family is much bigger than what you think it is.  Yesterday was one of those days.

These amazing people are a larger part of our family.  This is part of Chris' unit and our local FRG leaders.  They showed up at my house on Sunday around 2:30pm on drill weekend and put some of our lives back together.

They cleaned up the remaining pine tree debris from last week's adventure.

The guy on the right is using a jack to pull a branch out of the ground.  It was buried at least 2' deep!

Some of them started in on the fence right away.

H. even mowed my backyard to try and get more needles up using the bagger.

 There was so much going on that I don't have pictures of everything.  A couple people unhooked my outdoor water hoses to avoid winter issues.  They also fixed my yard's front gate so that it would swing close easily and not require my shoulder's weight into the fence!

All of this was an immense list of things I had to figure out how to get fixed and done.  It took them less than one hour...The teamwork was incredible and I was overwhelmed by everything being done for us.  It took less than an hour to have my yard back, my fence back, the gate working, water being winterized, and a mowed backyard!  None of this was expected and what was suggested by the FRG was the pine debris removed and the fence fixed.  These little extras were amazing and thoughtful and everything was wonderful.

I was able to post pictures to FB and Chris was moved to (he admits to only one in his eye) tears over the outpouring of support for our family from his military family.

So thank you, to our military and FRG family.  Thank you for something that may have seemed easy to you but means the world to me.

Mission Changes and Guru-ness

My husband over the last 24 hours has been moved.  His mission has changed (though his job has not).  Overall, this isn't the worst thing out there.  He is now (temporarily) up in Iraq in support of a draw down.  While some would freak out over this, I think I had only about 30 seconds or so of apprehension over this.  At this point, Iraq is generally a safe place to be again for our troops (as the bases they are restricted to are quite secure).  As I sit here thinking about it, really, the biggest inconvenience as I see it is that the mail is suspended due to the draw down of this base.  All letters and packages will be held at his original post until his return.  What a shitty thing to not be able to get physical letters and packages!  We just sent his first box off last week and he didn't get it before the move so he likely won't get it for over a month now--those poor lonely Oreo's!

There goes our wonderful thoughts of a cake walk deployment.  Well, my mind is a little complex because I have a hierarchical mind and without snail-mail it only really goes from cake walk downgraded to easy...  As a techy army man, this deployment his job requires internet...which means he should almost always HAVE internet.  We will have Facebook; we will have e-mail; likely during at least some of the time, we will have Skype.  This is so much more than many families get over a deployment that I am blessed with the expectations of it even.

On the plus side (if one wants to look at it this way...) he was specifically chosen for this mission because he is 'well-rounded' in the equipment of not only his job, but the sister jobs as well.  His newest designation (posted at his new place) is the S6 Guru.  So Congrats Hon!  Your over-achieving, productiveness has been noticed...next time aim for a promotion instead of a deployment.  ;-)

How I Feel...

I don't think I have ever heard a song that describes the utterly strange feeling that settles over me during deployment.  People have tried to describe it to me/for me as sad, angry, depressed, lonely, stressed, tough, etc.  Yes, at times these all pass through my life while my soldier is away....But really, those go through everyone's lives on any given day...it just isn't an adequate description of the overwhelming and ever persistent presence of this feeling.  Thank you to Simple Plan and Natasha Bedingfield for your song "Jet Lag" and a new way to tell people what this feeling is.

"You say good morning
When it's midnight
Going out of my head
Alone in this bed
I wake up to your sunset
And it's driving me mad
I miss you so bad
And my heart, heart, heart is so jet lagged
Heart, heart, heart is so jet lagged
Heart, heart, heart is so jet lagged."

~Link to the rest of the lyrics~

I am simply Jet Lagged.  Our lives right now are so very far apart that we have settled into different routines to get ourselves through each day but never forget that the other is likely sleeping or awake at a different time as us and they aren't here.  This knowledge, this life is tiring and hard to adjust to, no matter how many times you do it.  My mom sent me a Facebook link to this song and obviously I cried.  But I felt a sense of calm from it too.  Someone gets it!  Someone out there knew how to put this feeling into words...They may not even have been referring to a military relationship but it fits so perfectly and I simply had to share this new-found description with everyone.

So for all you couples whose hearts are so "jet lagged", let's all look forward to homecoming whether it is five days away or a year.

Lifestyles of the Rich or Deployed...

Well, I have a few pictures from Chris of his new living situation.  They don't match what I had in my head based on description but that's because in my head there was one less wall!  LOL!  So here is a glimpse into this particular deployment.

Based on the bathroom travel bag, the last picture is Chris' locker.  I *believe* his bunk is the bottom bunk in the second picture but I'm not positive on that one.

Well, this is a preliminary glimpse into the living space he and his buddies have put together.  (In case you didn't know, this is a bay that holds 60 people.  They worked it up into a private area for 4 within this bay.  Pretty smart huh?)

Settling In

He is settling in and we are excited to say that we have an address to start sending some homey things to him.  His first box will have a couple birthday items in it, some snacks, and by his request--two wall clocks.  Doesn't the base have clocks around?  Well sure they do, but what they can't have is clocks set to local time AND the time zone your family is in next to each other.  Why not?  Well this is such a simple answer that so many of us forget about it...America covers more than one time zone...And then we throw in DST which not everywhere observes.  Yup, so he and his roomies are getting two clocks to hang above the projector screen in their "room" to show local vs home times.

Projector??  Oh, did I forget to mention I'm married to a nerd and he is part of the nerd squad too.  Commonly called Signal...They sure do like their tech-y toys!  Hopefully I can get some pictures up of his "room"  (a makeshift privacy attempt in a bay built for 60 people).  Of course I have to double check OPSEC and then get him to send me some...but barring issues with both of those things, I'm aiming for a week turn-around on this particular item.

Deployments and Skype

I was inspired to attempt a deployment blog by a wonderful military wife and mother that I respect immensely.  Its a wonderful way to remember the deployment's day-to-day effects on our family from my perspective.  This will give our family something to look back on and see how our first family deployment goes.

Tonight was our first foray into Skyping.  Alyssa was amazed at Papa being inside the computer and Papa got to see us nearly 1,200 miles away.  It was so fun to watch Alyssa (captivated for as long as a toddler can be--5 minutes tops) investigating the computer and how to interact with Papa in this new way!  We are still waiting for vocal conversations and so this video solution allows goodnight waving and kisses (and a nightly reminder to clean my laptop screen).

As we climbed onto the couch and opened up the program we got an incoming 'call' and after much tinkering and figuring out how in the world Skype works in its most basic form (I'm married to a tech guy...I don't need to be tech-y right??), we got video up on both ends, lighting in order to see everyone, and voice so Stroh good ask what I was wearing...Yeah, there is not much privacy in the military and much joking in the barracks.

The basics having been mastered, okay, practiced...We are now ready to take on this year-long deployment.  We will continue to work on our vocal conversing in hopes that we can get "Papa" and maybe even "Good Night" and "Love You" out of Alyssa before Papa comes home but for now we are excited to be able to wave, smile and kiss at Papa in the computer.  So here we go, 3 weeks into the deployment and less than a year to go!